I read "Night to His Day: The Social Construction of Gender" by Judith Lorber and I keep being struck by how much our gender roles (expectations) are really something that we learn.
I recently had a friend who had a baby boy and she told all her friends and family that she didn't want to have him dress in all blue all the time. She even came to a point where she asked that no one give her any blue clothing, or blankets or anything. She recommended that they instead give her yellow, orange or green things because they were more gender neutral. In the end, many people still ended up giving her things that were blue because there just aren't that many options out there in the gender neutral area for babies.
I think of how daily I feel like I am taught something new about my own role as a woman. What is expected of me in my behaviors. What is okay to say, and what is not. I think of Halloween especially. I personally am a more conservative dresser just by my own nature. I don't feel like I'm classified as "tomboy" or think that I'm not feminine, nor am I ashamed to admit that I like things that are more stereotypically "girl things". On Halloween I, like many of my friends, wanted to go out and have fun. Every one of my girl friends ended up wearing something that was cut really short, really low and had ridiculous high heels to go with it. I had no idea what to wear and they said they were going to help me. I ended up conforming to their ways and wearing something similar to what they were and I got praised all night for it.
It was an interesting experience to say the least. I am finding more and more what is expected of me as I grow older as well. Being a 22 year old, not-married female in my family brings a lot of pressure. It is an expectation of my family that I either be ready to have my career ready to go so I can help a husband and be good at housework as well. I am supposed to be ready to be a wife and not wanting to go out and travel and finish my Bachelors degree and then my Masters degree.
There was a lot of meat in the article and the ones that followed and ones I have read previously that make me think every so often about my opportunities and choices in life and how my upbringing and current environment makes certain things more or less available to me.
I'm sure I'll have more thoughts on this as the days go by.
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I really like your example of Halloween. I did the short dress/pumps/low cut outfit one year because every other year I was something totally different and more covered. Yet when i dressed this way my freshman year I felt left out. It seemed like the majority was scantly clad.
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